Always Loved, Never Forgotten...

4 years ago today I was woken up by my mom on her couch in Florida and heard the words 'he's gone!'. Being that I had just woken up from a big 2.5 hours of sleep it took me a minute to realize what it was that she was saying. He's gone? Where did he go? And then I realized she was saying what my biggest fear was, my Dad had passed away. In the matter of seconds my world crumbled around me.
I am admittedly a very big Daddy's girl and to think that I wouldn't have him there anymore to talk to or anything crushed me. How could this happen? How could the very first man I loved, my very best friend, the person I told absolutely everything to be gone? It took me a couple of minutes and going in their room to see the truth for myself before I called Joe from a curled up position on my mom's kitchen floor. I couldn't even get the words out, I didn't want to, I felt like if I said it then it would definitely be true and I didn't want that, I wanted to think this was all a bad dream...but it wasn't :o(
I guess the grown up in me is happy that he did not suffer long and can live with saying that my babies have the best guardian angel ever up in Heaven watching down on them and keeping them safe. The other part of me though, the little girl inside, wants to kick and scream and say how unfair it is that I no longer have my daddy here. How is it that he had to pass 4 months before my wedding and never get to walk me down the aisle? How is it that he got to see both of my sister's first born (and even one of their seconds) and not mine? How cruel is this world that would take a man so amazing away from his family that loved him so much? Unfortunately though all that thinking will not bring him back.
He was my best friend, my 'person' - you know the one person that everyone has that they can tell just about anything to? That was him to me. He was an amazing man, a wonderful husband and an even better dad. Not a day goes by that he doesn't pass through my head at some point or another. I would give just about anything to have him back for one more day. To hear his 'bad' jokes or to see his smile.

7~11~06...gone too soon...love you forever Daddy-o!!!!